We should assert that others be respected for their humanity even if they are different from us.
By Robert A. Scott, President, 91¹ú²ú
Calls for “civilityâ€� ring almost daily. Whether by a national commission, aÌýgathering of clergy, or a newspaper commenting on big-city police, the calls are similar.ÌýThey concern racism, “road rageâ€�, bullying, and other forms of in-civil behavior. I believeÌýthese cries for civility are calls for respect.
The urgency with which certain persons and groups demand respect is striking forÌýseveral reasons. First, their demands fail to acknowledge that respect is a two-wayÌýexchange; second, they ignore the fact that individual and group respect are notÌýpermanent. No one can demand respect and expect the results to be honest.
It certainly is true that racism, antisemitism, and other forms of prejudice are notÌýonly active in our society, but also deny respect to those who are the subject ofÌýdiscrimination and in-civil actions. Therefore, it makes sense for those who have beenÌýsubjected to bias and incivility personally or historically to want respect. Indeed, IÌýassume that everyone wants respect as a simple fact of his or her humanity.
We should assert in our schools and houses of worship, and especially in ourÌýhomes, that others should be respected for their humanity even if they are different fromÌýus. But there is a difference between respect for humanity at large; respect for ethnic,Ìýnational, religious, community, and racial groups in general; and respect for anyÌýindividual in particular.
Respect, in general, must be offered freely. An individual’s actions should noÌýmore reflect poorly on an ethnic, national, racial, or religious group than a group’sÌýactions should reflect poorly on all of humanity. But respect in these larger contextsÌýcannot mitigate the disrespectful behavior of an individual. This is the truth which someÌýignore. I respect you first as a human, second as an individual.
However, individual respect can be regained through effort: by being sincere andÌýhelping others, by showing concern, by acting as part of a group which is trying to beÌýpositive.
Respect is lost by acting in a callous manner, by disregarding others, byÌýinsincerity, or by belittling the place and relevance of others. When a student or a facultyÌýmember or lay member of the public “demandsâ€� respect, and does so in a manner whichÌýitself is disrespectful, he or she not only misses the point but also demeans the issue.
A college and university is a precious place. It is where truth in whatever formÌýshould be pursued without hindrance. It is where freedom of speech must be protected toÌýthe utmost. It is place where diversity – of background, ethnicity, nationality, religion –Ìýshould be valued. It also is a place where civil discourse and respect for one another isÌýessential if a full and honest exchange of views is to be assured.
Without common courtesy, ears are closed. When ears are closed, there can be noÌýmutual respect. We must learn to disagree without being disagreeable. Those who shoutÌýthe loudest for respect do the least to gain it.
These are difficult times, when relations between groups are strained. Often, theÌýeconomy is blamed. I would hope that even in times like these, families, clergy, andÌýteachers would prepare children with the basic values of civility, courtesy, sincerity, andÌýrespect for others. Our world needs it. Our national values – freedom of speech, freedomÌýof assembly, democracy itself – will die without it.
© Robert A. Scott, 2007.
For further information, please contact:
Todd Wilson
Strategic Communications DirectorÌý
p – 516.237.8634
e – twilson@adelphi.edu